31 August 2007

friday's feast

Who is the easiest person for you to talk to?

I don't know... the neighbouring woman, I think.
Not that we share matters very personal, but about the children she is the person.

If you could live in any ancient city during the height of the quality of its society and culture, which one would you choose?

Djenne in Mali.
But any of the first world people will do.

What is the most exciting event you’ve ever witnessed?

The reunion of my school, I think. We met after 25 years and I felt the same about my first love, found out at the time people valued me more than I knew.
They'd better told me when I was young...it would have mattered a lot.

Main Course
If you were a celebrity, what would you do for a publicity stunt?

A stunt for what?
And what kind of celebrity?
Even without being a celebrity I would bagpipe.

Without the kids to care for I would stand up for peace and equality for all human beings.
People have to start thinking without borders. We should share what we have: love, care, understanding, food and healthcare. Even jobs.

I can't understand that people who flee their own country because of war are kept from entering a country that has more.
It makes me sick in the stomach that people go for more and more and more, even think they are better than others, and they just don't care for others.

Even when we had almost nothing I was able to sell some clothes to get enough money to buy my friend a manually activated vacuumpump to help children to be born.
She was a midwife and was ready to leave for Swaziland, but she needed a vacuumpump.
I managed to get the money the day before she left, and got hold of the manufacturer who brought it to the airplane and paid for transport.

For months I was short of money and sometimes had to wear my denim trousers wet, because I'd sold the others.
But I didn't care one bit... especially not after receiving the message how she was able to save a mother and child at the day of her arrival there.

I've found out often, the hard way, how uncaring people are.
I'm struggling to blog for the money to buy my autistic son a computer. Which is a problem as I often deal with a slow internetconnection and miss many of the good offers.
Well, to be realistic... one of those shops or manufacturers could give one for free, or someone who throws his away could give it my son. People don't think that way, though.

We could mean so much in each other''s lives, but we get caught up in daily matters and we just don't think to care.

If I would be a celebrity on stage, I would open each performance with remembering people about this.

What do you consider the ideal age to have a first child?

There's never an ideal age. All people are different.
But I wouldn't wait untill all the money is there and a house and a car.
It's about love and care, not about having the most expensive babystuff.

I have been informing people about pregnancy and high risk pregnancy.
Fertility deminishes after the age of 30, and when you smoke, drink... This also goes for men.
So don't wait for a settled carreer, but start at ...24?

Want to take part in Friday's Feast?
Click the logo.


30 August 2007

thursday bug

thursday bug meme

Sometimes it helps to share with others what bugs your mind.
They may have a solution, a kind word, or a smile of encouragement.

This week my thursday bug is:

Had a talk with the school of the boys yesterday.

What bugs me is that it was clear they had the idea we didn't invest in coming to parents' evenings, and we didn't invest in homework.

It feels like all we have said and all we have done just didn't reach some working brains behind ears, eyes and heart.

I feel offended too... but these people are not aware what feelings they cause.



What's your thursday bug?

Leave your name and url with Mr Linky so we can find you.

Download the topgraphic of this entry
or one of the following
to your computer and from there to your site.
Link it to this site, so others can find the meme too.

Thanks for participating!


Your online shop with Ashop Commerce

This evening I visited a new online shop of a friend.
She has nice jewelry to sell, and her pages look nice, but she doesn't have a good cart system.

That way her online shop will always have the feel that it's not complete.

So I told her about Ashop Commerce shopping cart software.

They have a complete system of ecommerce software, that is easy to use and gives each shop the right feel of professionalism that is needed to attract buying customers.

The shopping cart they use works with all major banks, gateways and third party processors including PayPal (full functionality integration) and creditcards (if needed, just ask their advice).
And above all they have the best checkout security, which is of utmost importantce for both customer and shop owner.

Ashop Commerce offers a whole shop setup for a low prize. So even a little shop can use it.

It's prize winning software, and they deserve the prize. Oh yes, they do.

Adding new products is so very easy, and getting an overview of the administration is just the effort of a click on the button.

Everyone I speak about Ashop Commerce tells me that their customoer support is magnificent.
They're fast, friendly and always willing to find solutions for the most unusual requests.

My friend now at the site, starting her 10 day free trial.
She has already tried the demo on the site and was quite impressed.

Ever dreamed about having a shop yourself? Go and have a look!


laundry and rain

Ethelwenn can do with some kind words.
She's struggling with her laundry... it even looks like the rain just knows when her clothes are on the line.

Is there a mysterious attraction between wet laundry and rain?

I know the bloggingworld is full of people who have very good advice, so when you have some, please visit her.
If you have none, a kind world will do.


When you ask me: Smorty is a good choice

More and more blog advertising is accepted as a means to bring products to the attention of the general public.

I remember the early days, when it was said that advertising on blogs was devaluating blogging itself.
It has turned out that it enhances the creativity of the blogger and the links in written posts are well used, much to the enjoyment of the advertisers.

Smorty is one of the services that connects advertisers with bloggers.

Advertisers join Smorty to have them find the right people who advertise on blogs.
So they won't have to surf the whole bloggingworld.

For bloggers it's easy to join.
Your blog needs to be over 3 months old and you need to post at least 2 times a week. There are also other requirements, but when you have a good looking blog, with creative content, which doesn't violate the law, you are well on your way.

The easy interface of Smorty allows you to blog for money right after approval. The rules and requirements are clear and when you follow them you won't have any problems to get your posts approved and paid for.

I like Smorty for the fact that they use paypal, and they pay fast.
And you can write according to your own honest opinion.

When you ask me, Smorty is a good choice to blog for money.


29 August 2007

last days of august give-away

Feel welcome to participate in the august give-away.
Click the logo at the right or go to: my other site.


works for me: macaroni

Always, always have macaroni in the house.

Girls love to make necklaces.
Macaroni is great to use, and so are other pastas.

You'll need a firm threat or even ironthreat to make the curve.

Pasta can be painted and spraypainted. Use leadfree paint.

Shoeboxes can be made into wonderful places for dolls and bears when you spraypaint them.
Then spraypaint macaroni and glue it on the box.

Have fun!

It works for my girls and it works for me.

Want to participate? Click the logo.


28 August 2007

10 Things I Like About My Job

10 Things I Like About My Job

My job is taking care of 6 children and their father.

4 of the children have an autism spectrum disorder, 2 are dyslectic.

  1. I can make full use of my university degree.
  2. My children are raised by me, the way they need it. No isolationrooms for them.
  3. I can sing whenever I want.
  4. When something is clean I know it's hygienic clean (if needed).
  5. I'm responsible for my own actions, no bossy person ordering me around.

The rest will come soon


Masterseek, a search engine that makes a difference.

We've just heard the date my oldest will be moving out.

It's a big step, so we want him the best... in the afforable range.

I feel lucky to know a site where I can look up within a few seconds what I need:
companies that sell furniture in my own country.

You want to know which site I mean:

It's a global search engine and should be known by every bussinessowner.
You can search on companies, products, all and on categories (the call it overview).

It's my favorite searchengine, because company profiles are provided, including adresses, sites and phonenumbers.
It's easy to find and contact bussinesspartners, sales opportunities and people who can help your company find new ways to expand.

Right at this moment you can submit your company profile for free.
You can add keywords that are invisible for the visitors of your profile, but that guide the searches, and you can even put some of your products on show.

Masterseek has many opportunities, go and have a look!


Become my collegue at Bloggerwave

Everyone needs some extra cash at times.

Well, as money doesn't fall out of a tree at september, I want to focus your attention on Bloggerwave.

It's one of the main sponsored blogging sites, and I have to say, one of the most pleasant to work with.

Joining is free.
After your blog is approved, you can take the opportunities that are available for your blog.
The higher your blog is ranked at Google, Alexa and Bloggerwave itself, the more you can earn.
Don't worry... even though they state in the FAQ that opportunities go from one dollar up, I've never blogged under ten dollar yet.

The guidelines for each post are clear. So you won't feel as insecure as you feel at some other sponsored blogging sites.
At times blogging will be very easy, as some posts can be written in your own language.

So give it a try.
At this time new bloggers can apply.
Feel welcome!


cleaning little corners

A friend asked how I clean little corners.

Well, there are many ways.

You can vacuum the corner. When you put your hand for the opening, you can guide the vacuumer's power right into the corner.

After that I take a paintbrush.
A little one. Like the one children bring home from school.
If it's a delicate item, I use a soft brush. But with furniture it's a hard one.

Give it a try!


make a movie with Coke zero

I've just found a site that is real fun!

Before you go turn your speakers on...

... and get blown out of your seat. LOL!

Well apart from the jump I made, because I didn't know my speakers were on, I had a good time at the site of the new campaign of CocaCola: Coke zero.

You can make your own little movie by providing texts to classical moviescenes.
Start anew when you're not content.

Ofcourse you'll want a drink when directing.
Have a Coke zero : Life as it should be. Don't worry, it's the Real taste, but it contains zero sugar.
So you can keep feeling the moviestar you wanted to be.

When you're finished directing your movie you can send it to as many friends you want.

It's such fun!

So have a go and send me your real movie. I'm looking forward to it.


27 August 2007

manic monday

What kinds of scenes in movies make you cry?

Lost love, dying children.
And scenes that resemble certain experiences in my life.
Out of Africa makes me cry a lot.

If you met your clone-- someone with your exact personality traits, likes and dislikes, etc. -- would you want to be friends with her? Why or why not?

No problem.
I'm ok.

What is your biggest challenge in life right now?

Taking care of my children is the biggest challenge, because 4 of them have autism spectrum disorder. Dealing with schools and organisations. including psychiatrists included.

If you're talking just about me.
The biggest challenge is saying goodbye to all those dreams I had, all those expectations of life.


25 August 2007

saturday special

1. Quiet evening at home or Out on the town?:

Well, as I stay at home almost always, I'm perfectly ready to go out for an evening in town.

2. Watch a movie or Reading a good book?:

At the moment I'm so tired, I want to do something without being disturbed too much.
So I want to watch a good movie and take the book upstairs after that.

3. Order a meal or Cooking one yourself?:

For the family? I cook myself.
But when I would be alone at home (dream dream dream) and I have plenty of money I'll order or make a sandwich. So I guess it'll be a sandwich. LOL!

4. Going for a walk or Taking a ride in the car?:

I'm going for a short walk each evening, when someone wants to join me. Just a 10 minute walk past the lake.

We have no car.
But I like to have a ride.


24 August 2007

Friday's Feast

Say there’s a book written about your life. Who would you want to narrate the audio version?

I think...Michael Palin.

Take the letters from your favorite kind of nut and write a sentence. (Example: Perhaps every avenue needs understanding today.)

I'm allergic to nuts. LOL!


coaching of

If you could go back in time and spend one week in another decade, which decade would you choose?

Well, considering the fact that I want to live in a time that women won't struggle for equal rights, I would want to go back to the sixties. I'm not shy anymore, so I'll sing along with Janis Joplin.

On the other hand, I want to go to Africa and I admire the women who went there. So between 1920 and 1930 will be OK too.

Main Course
Name a song that brings back memories for you.

From West Site Story: There's a place for us.

Avé Maria from Guinot. My gram taught it to me and I've sung it often.

Summertime... Moonriver... Vincent... oh so many songs with memories....

Or "bridge over troubled water".
We were preparing school for a huge party.
I was standing on a very high ladder in the gymhall to fit some stuff against the ceiling.
My first boyfriend was standing on the floor, watching I wouldn't fall down.

Another good friend started the music to check the system.
"Bridge over troubled water".
I got down some steps and had to stop as the lights went out. I was caught by the sight of the lighteffects through the almost dark hall.
The music went on and one after another joined in.
My soprano clear above them.

Later we had fun throwing about a package of cigarettes.

It was such a perfect time, with both people I loved most.

2 years later we went our own way.

My boyfriend married after I married.
My other friend disappeared, but I wanted to find him.
The afternoon when I found a phonenumber and decided to call him that evening, he was found dead.

My oldest is named after him.

hands in cold water or warm water?

In warm water so the soap rinses of fast.


23 August 2007

thursday bug

thursday bug meme

Sometimes it helps to share with others what bugs your mind.
They may have a solution, a kind word, or a smile of encouragement.

This week my thursday bug is:

I'm waiting for the decision from the department of financial support.
My son (with severe asperger syndrome and ADD)
is moving to a trainingshouse and he needs to have financial support to live there.
He has the right to get it,
but our council is wellknown for dragging out procedures far too long.
He needs it september 1.
So it keeps bugging my mind, because he has less than a week left.

What's your thursday bug?

Leave your name and url with Mr Linky so we can find you.

Download the topgraphic of this entry
or one of the foloowing
to your computer and from there to your site.
Link it to this site, so others can find the meme too.

Thanks for participating!


22 August 2007

New meme tomorrow

Tomorrow you'll find a new meme here:

thursday bug

Don't forget to have look!


Works For Me: Storage Idea

One of those dangerous habits of many people is to put things they need to take upstairs in a corner of one of the steps.

I've kept the childsafe gate to the attick.
On order not to put things on the steps, I took a bycicle bag... yep, those with the hooks... and hung it on the gate.
It worked so perfect, that when I found little ones, I bought a few, so now some of the children have their bag at the gate.
When I find something, I put it there and they take it to their room.

Downstairs the gate has gone.
But I've made a hook at a safe place and put a bycicle bag there too.
A nice reed one.

Nothing on the stairs again. And upstairs things are sorted before it all is stored.

It works for me.


Large families buy large quantities and need to have lots in store.

When I put things away I make rows on the base of expiration date, and put rows of items that combine side to site.

So the tomatosause is beside the pasta.

Works for me.

click the large graphic to take part too.


21 August 2007

10 Things You Don't Like About Your Job

10 Things I Don't Like About My Job

My "job" is caring for 6 children and their father.
4 of them (all the boys) have an autism spectrum disorder (and so does the father, but he doesn't want to acknowledge it.)
2 of all the children ( a boy and a girl) have dyslexia.

OK, it's the subject of this week. I usually don't want to dwell on any of these.
But here it is: what I don't like about the job..

  1. I wake up between my work and go to sleep with it
  2. I have to deal with people who don't even bother to understand what the children go through, yet they vent their opinions, criticism and advice like it's the air they breathe out.
    I especially dislike teachers who want to punish them for not doing the normal things other children do.... so they punish them for something that is part of their handicap.
    Or in the past: people in shops telling me I should start being a proper parent. Well, meltdowns are a symptom of the handicap, like squeeking is a symptom of a wooden leg.

    Have you ever considered how the child feels, or I?
    I want to have perfect children too.
  3. I hate waiting for appointments I have made 3 or 6 months before. Especially when it's a question about how things are going, and no real positive action is taken when things are not going well. I dislike medication control without the control. (No bloodpressure etc when it needs to be measured.)
  4. I hate short nights. Children with autism spectrum disorder often sleep bad or too short.
    They also don't think about consequences of their actions.
    So I want to be awake when they are.
  5. I hate the fact that I do the same job as groupleaders and psychologist that work with these children, I have the same education, and I don't get the acknowledgement at all.
    They go home after their shift has ended, get paid well, are respected and have vacations.
    I don't.
  6. I don't like doing laundry, decluttering, tidying and all the other housekeeping jobs.
    Still I have to do them...
  7. I hate dealing with all the paperwork. Over and over the same things need to be filled in and I know they just need to start a computer and push a button to get it all on screen. Ugh!
  8. I hate the fact that life never is relaxed for a complete day.
    I have one hobby outside the home, but more times I can not go than times I can.
    I miss someone to share the job with.
  9. I hate the fact that I can't use my talents.
    I can't have a job, because too many unexepted things happen that need my care. So I try to work online a bit. But even when I have the time there are often no jobs available.
  10. I hate the fact that I'm old and worn out when all the children are at their destination and I'm finally able to travel and do my things.

Well,.. this feels like complaining and I hate that too.


20 August 2007

manic monday

What is the biggest transition you've had to make in your life?

That's a very difficult question.

Maybe it was when I had to turn from a shy girl into a girl that took part in life.
Maybe it was after my first girl died... I had to start to believe in life again, and life up to it.

If you had to be famous for something, what would you choose?

I want to be famous for standing up for peace and human rights.
Especially for the rights of children and parents.
Children have a right to have mom or dad stay at home, instead of being at a daycare.
Women have a right to be rewarded for all they do, so they should have a basic income.

What surprises you most about your life so far?

Hmmm.... That it's passing so fast, and the children consume my time so well, that I'm aging without doing the things I wanted to do. I don't have the chance to use my talents.

On a larger scale.
I'm amazed that the care for others stops at the border of a country.
People allow themseleves to strife for more and more, better and better, but when people flee war, hunger and want to strife for a better life they're not allowed to do it.


17 August 2007

Pay It Forward -- sticky post

Terra Satirize is the one before me... you can be next...

I will send a gift (handmade or not) to the first three people who leave a comment on this post requesting to join this Pay it Forward exchange.

I don’t know what that gift will be yet, but you will receive it within 365 days.

The only thing you have to do in return is “pay it forward” by making the same agreement on your blog.


Friday's Feast

Describe your laundry routine. Do you have a certain day when you do it all, or do you just wash whatever you need for the next day?

Can't wash for the next day, as one never knows if it'll be dry.
I wash after 11 in the evening. We have cheaper electricity then. I wash one or two loads.
In the weekends I wash all the rest. Which might be a lot.
I seperate into piles of : black, white, red, coloured, and handwash.
At times I deal with a seperate green and yellow load too.
I try to dry it all outside. In the winter it's inside, with stuff on the hall-heating to speed it up.

In your opinion, what age will you be when you’ll consider yourself to truly be old?


At times I already feel my childhood years were in the ice-age.
When I look in the mirror I feel old, because I havew forgotten what my real face looks like and I don't recognice that person in the mirror.
Inside I'm still a girl... but who sees that?

What is one of your goals?
Is it short-term, long-term, or both?

Short term: get that schoolprincipal realise we're just caring parents who want the best for our children and that his fill in just doesn't have enough skills to handle his job well.
Long term: Get my autistic boy at a place he can be happy. Even if it's abroad.
Any idea's?
Oh and eh...I want to get rich. LOL!

Main Course
Name something unbelievable you’ve seen or read lately.

I have to think about this one.
I guess I believe everything. LOL!

On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how happy are you today?

After being woken up by two puberty driven balls of male hormones commenting on each other?
This can improve, however.


15 August 2007

Works-For-Me Wednesday

A friend came this morning and was all in tears.
She'd bought a nice T-shirt and trousers combination for her daughter just when the vacation started and her daughter has outgrown it.
It was a nice pink set, with little flowers.
I looked upstairs and found a matching blue fabric, ready to use.
So we opened the shoulders on top, and sew blue between it on both sides.
Then made a 7 cm extra at the seam of the T-shirt.
We opened the trousers at both outer sides and sewed in two lines of blue, and added blue to the seam.
We even had enough to make an extra pocket at the t-shirt, a little bit of colour at the top of the pockets of the trousers, and a little bag. Added to it two bows for in her hair and this little lady will be happy when she comes home from school, I'm sure of it!


14 August 2007

M - encyclopedia of me

At Bella Dia I came across a great idea: An Encyclopedia of Me.

M is for Music.

Music is my life.

My whole family sang. My uncles sang in the family choir that existed for over a hundred year.
My grandma taught me first technical aspects of singing, and taught me to sing operette and opera.

When I was 4 my father took me with him to the choir he conducted. It was for 8 and over, but none cared that that little shy girls was singing too.
He was very dedicated to teach everyone good breathingtechniques, good pronunciation and good use of the vocal cords.

Later I was solosinger and choirsinger in the church and at highschool.
Ofcourse I sang in a folkband, and I've even sang in a rockband.
Ask me, and I'll do it again.

My first soprano has sunk a bit, due to age. (But I can practice and get it higher).
I can sing about everything, including falsetto and the kidn of singing that is used in musicals. (Don't know the translation)

My first musical instruments were pots and pans.
Later I learned all sorts of flutes and whistles, learned myself guitar and violin, got the most boring pianolessons, played organ in the church.
Now I play all sorts of instruments with highland bagpipes setting: the GHB shistle, hornpipe, smallpipes and the great highland bagpipe.
I would love to learn the play the harp.

Listening music is great to.
Depending on my mood you can enjoy me with...almost everything. Also hardrock, some house and techno..I'm OK with the new trends as long as they are not only a boring "...dump..dump...dump..."

M is for Motherhood.

My gram has a bunch of kids and she taught me a lot.
I enjoy motherhood...at times.
They say you get what you can carry. Well, four boys with autism spectrum disorder is a bit too much at times. It's not being their mother, it''s being their representative at schools which makes it a heavy task.


13 August 2007

Manic Monday

What would you like to accomplish this month?

To get all arranged for my oldest to move out of the house and start living a targetted life in professional care.

How would people who knew you in high school describe you?

The first years: shy, modest.
Later years... depends. I was a writer, organisor. Always having a good mood, friendly, caring.
Well, that's what they said at the reunion.

What's your favorite meal of the day, and why?

Because of my diabetes the only thing I can eat in the morning is peperkoek, a kind of gingerbread. I like it. It's easy.

All the others mails I have to care for so many mouths gasping for food. Sometimes I'm too tired to eat.


L - encyclopedia of me

At Bella Dia I came across a great idea: An Encyclopedia of Me.

L is for Loyal.

I'm a very loyal friend and I try to teach my kids the same.
But I also want them to stay trie to themselves.
At times I have been more loyal to a socalled friend than loyal to myself.

L is for Lillies of the valley.

I love the smell and I love the look.
They remember me of my gram and of my stay in england, so many years ago.
It's the promising fragrance of spring.

L is for Laundry.

I think my family think I like laundry. Well, I don't.
I get so much that I can wash full machines of blue, white, black, red, green at least once a week.
That's at least 5 white and blue. Ugh!

L is for Love.

Luckily love doesn't come in a bottle that needs to be refilled.
So I try to give it around freely.

In case you expect now a story about the love of my life.. you won't find it.
I thought I married the best guy in the world, but he only was playing that part before our marriage.
I decided not to put my life on halt because of that.

L is for Listening.

Soooo important! especially listening "between the lines"....

L is for Ladybug.

I love ladybugs.
When I had big surgery a few years ago a ladybug was in my room every day.

L is for Labour.

I've had my share of experience with pregnancy and labour.

L is for Library.

When I think about livbrary I often think about the huge university library I went to study with friends. I still remember the smell. It felt so rich.


12 August 2007

Little Things Wedding Favors - everything for a perfect day.

Are you going to be an autumn bride in the time of harvest abundace and warm colours?
Or are you planning your wedding in the winter, when crisp snowflakes and soft colours set the tone?

I have seen such beautiful favors for your wedding at Little Things Wedding Favors.

I love the elegant snowflake designs and the fall favors.
In fact I love everything and I'm sure you will when you're visiting their site.

Every bride will find little items to decorate the tables, to hand out as little thank you gifts.
Candles, soaps, everything for a festive occasion like a wedding is available.
There are more than 2.600 different items on sale. So everyone can make a choice fitting taste and budget.

There is so much choice!

On top of the low prizes and the free shipping above an order of $250, there is a montly contest, and each week three items are on discount.
You won't need special coupons or codes, so ordering is easy and fast.

At the moment they're shipping to Canada and the USA, but I won't be surprised when Little Things Wedding Favors goes international soon.

So when you need wedding favors first have a loot at Little Things and you'll find it all: for the groom, the kids, the ladies.... and the baby.

Isn't it great to plan a wedding now?


K - encyclopedia of me

At Bella Dia I came across a great idea: An Encyclopedia of Me.

K is for Kingdom

Well, at the moment we live in a Queendom. LOL!

Queen Beatrix is our Queen.
Her mother Queen Juliana and her Grandmother Queen Wilhelmina reigned before her.

Today we heard that Castle Drakensteyn is prepared, so that means that Queen Beatrix won't be our Queen much longer.

Which means we will become a true Kingdom with our King Willem-Alexander.
We already had 3 King Willem's (before the Queens).

K is for knitting.

I have a long list of what I've made.

One of the most stirring was a wonderful red soft cardigan with thin cables and open patches.
I don't know how that kind of knitting is called.
It was beautiful!

When my mother saw it she accused me of lying. To her opinion I never could have made something so beautiful.
Well it says a lot about how she treated me.

K is for Knowledge.

I've always enjoyed studying, and I still do.

K is for kids.

Well, they should be under the c, but as the letter K is not often used in the english language...
I have 6 alive.


10 August 2007

J - encyclopedia of me

At Bella Dia I came across a great idea: An Encyclopedia of Me.

J for Jam.

I used to make jam. Hundreds of pots have been made, maybe over thousand.
I started when I was young, at my gram's house.

When I was at university I made jam at my studentroom on a campingcooker, when the owner of the house was out.
That's when I invented apple banana jam.

I've made it ever since. Yummy. But also stranberry, bramberry and a lot more.

J is for Jazz.

I love singing and making music.
Always said I'd sing jazz after 50. So I do.

J is for jealousy.

I wouldn't be able to cope with my life if I'd been jealous.
I can be happy for others, without wanting to have it too.

On the other hand. I can't deal well with people who are jealous.

J is for jewellery.

I love silver, I love earrings, I love rings, pendants... everything.
At home I only wear earrings... when I take the time.

J is for Journalism.

When I was at college I was send to a national magazine because they needed a writer.
I got lots of education there untill I was able to direct the whole process of making the magazine myself. Which came in handy, because the headeditor became ill a couple of months and I had to take over.

I like every aspect of journalism, except the whole celebrity dirt.

J for judgement

I can have a strong opinion about matters, but I can refrain from judgement.
I think it's not up to us to judge other people.


Friday's Feast

What is your favorite kind of pie?

Shepherd's Pie.

I had the best when I was in England/Scotland with my dad about 35 years ago.
And if my dream of going back again ever will be fullfilled I'll eat it again.
Do they serve it in heaven?

Name something that made you smile this week.

Well, there's always something to make me smile.
Hugs from the girls, misunderstandings because most of my boys take things literally (They have autism spectrum disorder).
What also made me smile was that I was very angry because vacation here means I'm at the house all days, 6 or 8 weeks at length, watching kids. At times I feel like life is passing by without me taking part of it. No normal grown-up to talk to, but my friends online. The father of the kids taking no responsibility whatsoever.
So I was really angry and logged in at ebay just to get my mind of things and found a dress I always wanted just for a few dollar. It must have skipped the eye, or maybe it was one of too many offered at the same time. Don't know.
There was 1 minute left and I pressed the button in anger. Thought that even when I was at home, it was time I'd show them I'm the queen of the house.
I got it!!!!!

It's a very bright pink, it's embroidered, it's my size.
Oh it's so pink!!!
I wonder if I'll ever dare to wear it outside the home.

But I had a good laugh... and will have some more.

What do you do to cool off when the weather is hot and humid?

Sit put computering.
We have a fan, a little one. So I use it.

Main Course
You receive $1,000 in the mail with a letter that says you can only use the money to redecorate one room in your home.
Which room do you pick, and what do you buy to spruce it up?

I's buy a new floor for the livingroom. No further thoughts. Just that!!

Fill in the blank: My _________ says __________, but I __________.

My doc says I need to take more rest and get on vacation, but I have to stay on top of things here, and there's no money available anyway.


09 August 2007

I - encyclopedia of me

At Bella Dia I came across a great idea: An Encyclopedia of Me.

I is for International.

I think it's very important that people from all over the world connect.

I is for Interesting.

Only when people are interested in each other, they will try to keep and create peace.

I'm very interested in many subjects. I love to know more about almost everything.

I is for Internet.

Internet has changed my life.
It's my way to connect with people, as most of the time I'm just at home.


08 August 2007

H - encyclopedia of me

At Bella Dia I came across a great idea: An Encyclopedia of Me.

H is for Hair.

I am one of those people that were last in line when hair was given out.
It was straight, it is straight and straight it will ever be.
I can't do anything with it.

When cut in layers, I just appear to have less hair.
When cut at one height, I see people considering if maybe I have stood aside a hedge at the time of cutting.

It's colour now is light brown red, with grey areas.
So at times I just paint it red.

H is for House.

Our house is too small for all of us.
And often I have to spend more time watching the kids than I can afford tidying.
So it looks mezzy...
But I do my utmost to keep it clean.

H is for Hope.

I've spend almost all my life hoping things will get better.

H is for Heart.

My heart is large.

If love given to others is a measurement... my heart is huge.

But my docs tell me that my diseases make me to be at high risk of heart disease.
The stress I experience every day is just adding to it.
Well, let's hope all will be well.

H is for hospitality.

People are always welcome, as long as they accept the children.
They can get coffee, tea, even cookies to go with it.
We share our dinner if it's dinnertime.

But people can't sleep here. We just don't have the room, unless they want to sleep standing.


07 August 2007

G - encyclopedia of me

At Bella Dia I came across a great idea: An Encyclopedia of Me.

G of Global Peace and global citizenship.

To me one of the most important themes in my life is Global Peace.
I think we can only achieve this when we become aware that we shouldn't think in countries and borders.
That we're born at a certain place on earth doesn't mean we should put a wall around that place and tell everyone it's "mine".
We're all guest on this earth and when we accept we're all guests and we all need and deserve respect, then real peace is far more within reach.

G for Garden.

My garden is important for me.
It's my place outside home, literally.
I love nature, and it's great to see plants and flowers grow and express themselves.
I prune at times, because I don't want plants to kill each other, but I enjoy the abundance so much that some people might think my back garden is a bit overgrown.
Well, I like the feel of the arms of the trees spread around and above me.
It gives me a bit a feel of a secret garden. An oasis in this world.

G is for Girls.

I once had a girl and later another one.
They both didn't make it. And I miss them.

Now I have twingirls and they're such a joy!

G is for Giraffe.

I collect giraffes.

G is for grandmom.

She was the best grandmom I could have had.
She taught me a lot, so many things my mother didn't care to teach, to share.
She was my home.

I miss her every day.


Works For Me: What's That Smell?

The smell of the boy's little room...


Well, we girls go upstairs.
They're too lazy to go there during the day anyway, and they don't have to go as much as we girlies do during the night.

I have taught each and every boy that sitting is best if you carefully guard the way of gravity for the bodypart and the fluids.

Ofcourse they try to do it standing up as soon as they see other boys at school.
By that time they have mastered bodyparts and gravity.
If something goes wrong, I comment.

Older boys who direct their liquids the wrong way get the message that splashing around is done in the pool and they either have to sit down or go on their knees.

And the father?
Well he takes turns with cleaning.... so he has learned the whole hygienic bit because he has the smells.

I clean the wall with vinegar and soap. It's against smells and it cleans well.


10 things I hate

Cindy tagged me. (No she isn't on my hatelist ... yet...LOL!)

Food I hate...
pasta. I eat it when I have to.

Fruit I hate...
Well, I'm allergic to kernell food.

Veggies I hate...
Don't know how these little cabages are called...

Celebrities/people that I hate...
People who always know everything better and those who feel themselves to be better than others.

Event/Situation/Incident that I hate...
When people force me into doing things.

TV shows/movies that I hate...
The yelling stuff.

Music I hate...
Boring, repeating stuff and out of tune songs.

Household chores that I hate...
Cleaning up the mess after others.

Things that you hate around the world...
Wars and actions created from the thought that the world can be changed by force.

Things that you hate about yourself...
I'm terribly insecure. (Don't tell anyone. LOL!)

Now I'm tagging....


Which flower I am

Did the tes and it said:

"You stand up for what you believe in, even if it gets in the way of what other people think. You are proud of yourself and your accomplishments and you enjoy letting people know that."

Well, I don't like boasting.

I am a

What Flower
Are You?


Ten Things You Will NEVER Do Again...

Ten Things You Will NEVER Do Again...

  1. Put salt in coffee.
  2. Complain to a psychiatrist about my autistic son. I did so a while ago, and the psychiatrist immediately set the procedure in working to get him admitted to a mental hospital. She even was pressurising us to a large extent when we said it was not an option. One of the resons was it was costing us a complete day of travelling to get to and fro.
  3. Recline a genuine offer from a good and trustworthy model agency. I did when I was 17, and I bet they don't want me now. LOL!
  4. Skinny dip.
  5. Accept someone hits me. I'm prepared to kick at knees and other places.
  6. I'll never ballet as well as I did before.
  7. ...

Hmmm... I have to think about the rest...


06 August 2007

F - Encyclopedia of me

At Bella Dia I came across a great idea: An Encyclopedia of Me.

F is for Friends

Because I'm not able to go out often, I don't have many friends offline.
I guess it's not enough for people to receive friendship from me at my house.

But I do have a great and wonderful friend I don't see often. I know him since I'm 15 and he accepts me how I am.

I miss my university friend. He went to Portland, Oregon. How I wish to see him again.
he came back many years ago and I felt so at home with him, that I wonder how I would feel if I meet him again.

My online friends are very special to me. Especially Cindy and Andrena, and some others who know they are my friends.

F is for Forgiveness.

Already as a child I had to forgive in order to survive emotionally.
I'm still very forgiving.
But the last years I've found out that I can't be as forgiving towards teachers who fail to treat my children with respect. It's the lioness in me that comes out.

F is for Frances.

She's a fellow blog-a-holic and bloghops for She Who Blogs, shows me places in New York, so I understand another friend far better, and she does a lot more. Go and read her blog!

F is for Fun.

I love to laugh about things. Often I see things with humor.

F is for Father.

He was a great guy and I miss him every day.
If he would have been around today, life would have been very different.
He served in the RAF in WW2 and I would love to know more about him during the time.

F is for Family.

The extended family couldn't accept my children the way they are.
They'd rather tell me over and over I'm a bad mother and should discipline my boys, than that they wanted to gain some knowledge about their disorders.
They're Far from my daily life now.
I'm so sorry about this... but I just can't cope with more than I have on my platter now.

So I have my little family with 6 children and their dad (who has an autism spectrum disorder too.)

F is for Fifty.

I've passed that line in life.
It feels strange that my body is growing older. I don't recognise myself when I look in the mirror. I feel so different from the person other people see.


Manic Monday

What is one thing you would really regret not doing at some point in your life?

One things? Only one thing?
Living happily with a soulmate.

(Sneeking in another one... travelling.)

If you had to, how would you describe yourself in a personal ad?

Well it depends what I advertise for.

For general purposes:
I'm a hard worker. I can work in a team, but I'm also a natural leader.
I'm great at motivating people, have a quick insight in social processes and I'm a good problem solver.
I'm very creative and when I get my job finished you might be in for a surprise. When there's room, I won't choose for traditional methods. I'm an aquarius, and I go for the unusual way.

I'm a musician, choreographer and former ballet dancer and teacher. I've been writing books and translating and rewriting others. I'm a psychologist. I've been a lecturer researchmethods, and I have a broad interest and knowledge in others subjects.

I'm a good and driven mom. An idealist, ready to change the world, even if it's one person at a time.

What is one thing that you "know for sure"?

Hmmm.... I see "".
I know I have had former lifes and I will come back. Hopefully in a better life.


05 August 2007

E - Encyclopedia of me

At Bella Dia I came across a great idea: An Encyclopedia of Me.

E for Education

I've always enjoyed going to school. It was my safe heaven, my brainfood.
Even though I was bullied I found a way to focus on new learning material.

I thought university would be a thrill, but soon I found out it was just a race to get your head stick out above the crowd.

So I just went my own way... studied what I liked, and when it finally wat time to graduate I had so much paperwork from all the courses, exams and laboratory research that we had to throw out a lot.

I still love to educate myself. Internet is heaven for me.

Educating others just happened.
I worked and studied at the same time, so I was always looking for a better job.
Friends knew one... pushed me past the door and I just had to ask the job to prevent to look foolish.

The guy asked me why I applied...being the youngest applying for a staff-job ever.
I said I needed the money and.. I got the job.

Lecturing at the university was one of the greatest job I ever had. I enjoyed it so much!!
It was in the years of great auditoriums of 300 to 400 students and practicumgroups of 20.
I lectured in researchtechniques.

Education for my children is a complete different world.

That one of the main subjects I graduated in was "learning difficulties" is a great help, and works also terribly against me.
People sometimes don't like me and feel threatened if they know it (I don't tell them if not absolutely necessary), even before they have seen me. Ugh.

It's a help for my children, because I know what they need, and I can see what they get.
It's a help and a burden for me as a mom, because I have to fight the system so often...

I went through it all: years of teachers telling me my seriously dyslectic son isn't dyslectic at all, teachers telling me he should have done his homework, teachers telling me that I should read at home with my son, I should have read them books before bedtime from an early age on.

Oh, they knew so well... they thought.
Only one followed my advice to come and have a look at my home and the boys' room.
She was stunned because we had so many books, educational material... and it was used.

A few years later I went through the same with one of the girls. She's dyslectic as well.

Trying to get my children the right education and educational approach is very difficult. The system is changing continuously and not always for the better.

E is for Empathy.

Commonly defined as one's ability to recognize, perceive and directly feel the emotions of someone else.

I think the educational system works best when there's more empathy for the parents and the children.

E is for Efficiency.

The only way to run a family of 8, with 4 kids with autism spectrumdisorder, is being efficient.

I don't make appointments when they're not absolutely necessary.
I don't have lists or plans, because they leave no room for spontaneous actions, and all those unexpected things that happen here.

To be efficient means to me to do what needs to be done, quick and well. If possible do two things at the same time.

E is for Email.

So I hate the phone, well, others hate email.

Because what is written lasts, unless the provider goes down.

I love email!

It's my lifeline to other people.

E is for English.

It's not my main language.

But my dad was in England with the RAF in WW2 and he took me to meet the family he stayed with.
They were such loving and kind people. They taught me the love for the language, and it has always been the language of my heart ever since.

Ofcourse I make lots of mistakes, but hej... who can speak and write Dutch the way I can?
E is for Eyes.

One of my girls had the most beautiful grey eyes there are in the world.
The others have honey-brown and deep-brown eyes.

Mine are dusty blue.

E is for Eventful.

My days are never boring.
So many things happen each day, that there are days I don't have time to clean or hang the laundry.
How I wish to be able to have a day at the beach... or to sit and stare...
E is for Evening.

When everyone is to bed, there's finally some silence. Some time to turn inward.

Or time to reach out to friends online.

I try to make a walk each evening. Looking at the stars, the moon.

And feeling nature at the borders of the lake.

It's different there each night.


04 August 2007

D - encyclopedia of me

D is for Dreams.

I'm a dreamer and idealist.
Now I'm getting older I have to face that some dreams never will come true.

I always longed to go to Mali.
But I doubt if I will ever get enough money to go there.

But Scotland is near enough to be not too far away.
So I enter contests... maybe once in my lifetime I will win a trip to see it all.

D is for Diabetes.

I started to feel very tired. It became worse and worse. Then my eyesight got worse.
because I've always had gestational diabetes I knew I was at risk for diabetes.
My doc said it was not necessary to test.
I started to eat sugarless and felt a bite better.
A friend send me a glucosemeter and the next morning I told my doc I had diabetes and needed medication.

Living with diabetes is rather difficult as there's never a balance in energy here at home.

D is for Deliveries.

I have some experience with deliveries as a mom.

My first and second child were born at home. Wonderful experiences!
It's a pity I had to go to hospital for the other ones. (My second child died a couple of days after birth).
They were all induced with a drip.

All in all I've had 4 boys, 1 girl (she died a few days later), 1 twins, 1 little one who died intrauterine, 4 miscarriages.


03 August 2007

Friday's Feast

On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how polite are you?

I'm 8,5. The difference between 8,5 and 9 is due to me feeling irritated by people who think I'm far below their level. It makes me fly high on top of them and let them know all people are equal if you only have the right way to see them.

What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?

Something one of the children said.

Who is your favorite cartoon character?

I don't like cartoons so much, so I never watch.
How is that lareg red cat called?

Main Course
Tell about the funniest teacher you ever had.

Come back over a couple of months. LOL!
I guess the most funny one was the teacher who took himself far too serious.
At the final exams he told me I was crap, my language was crap, my english was crap, and even my flip flops were crap.
I agreed with him on the last. LOL!

Then he saw me at university, talking with one of the "real englishmen", in english, about architecture.
He said nothing, just looked at my feet. Flipflops.

He saw me later when we were practicing different dialects. He listened in, said nothing. Then bowed to see my feet. Flipflops.

About a month later I was talking with the real englishman again. As I had a short history of language acquisition in the midlands, and this real englishman grew up there, we spoke fluently the juicy language and had a good laugh.

When I walked back my former teacher stopped me. Had a look at my feet which were enjoying black ladylike shoes, and looked up.
"What are you doing here?"....
It was all he said.

I looked at him with a motionless face, then told him I was studying the language he told me I should never ever speak again.
Ofcourse I spoke perfect Cambridge English.

He was silent.. stood gazing through the window for a moment and then said:
"Now you wear black shoes your english is much better."

Complete this sentence: I strongly believe that ...

All people are equal and we all have to do our utmost to make this world a peaceful and healthy place for our children, grandchildren and 7 generations to come.


C - Encyclopedia of Me

C is for children

A large part of my life is dedicated to the children.

With 4 boys with autism spectrum disorder, and twingirls none will doubt this statement.

I don't know how I would be able to cope without the girls.
They are so happy and self confident. Each time when I doubt my parenting of the boys I know I have done something very well.
I'm so grateful to experience something of normal motherhood, because dealing with the boys is so hard and difficult. I don't get any help at all, but I can do with lots!

So C is for coping too.

And C is for Coffee and caffeine. LOL!

Many kids with autism spectrum disorder don't sleep well. Mine have the same problem.

So some nights last only 2 to 4 hours, between the last finding his bed and the first


Thursday Threesome

::Writing your Blog::

Onesome: Writing-- on the web: Do you consider yourself a writer, in that you provide a narrative of some sort? ...or a responder, wherein you primarily work the meme circuit?
Well, I write and respond. Depending on my mood and what's needed.

Twosome: your-- place: did you do your own design? ...or did you pick out something from the established templates?
With the new blogger, I've used a template as an outline and then I adjusted it to my needs. When I'm completely used to it all, I'll design my own completely. As ever.

Threesome: Blog-- this! What's your favorite type of thing to run across that you just can't wait to get to the computer to post? Photos count, but for the photobloggers (like Laurie and me), what is it that you just know you won't be able to hold on to for even a day?
I write on a private blog what really keeps me bussy. Rant, rambling, whatever.
Then it's just what comes across.



02 August 2007

B - encyclopedia of Me

B is for Bagpipe.

I always wanted to play bagpipes, but never got the opportunity.
Then one of the girls wanted me to find someone who could teach her.
We found a band and we now have bagpipe lessons.
A few months ago I bought my first bagpipes. Never thought I would be able to realise this dream.

I'm still learning, but I can blow a couple of melodies very well.
I enjoy it tremendously.

B is for Ballet.

I have been a balletdancer part of my life.

I can say I have spend my happiest moments in my life dancing, or during lessons.

Even the most simple exercises were ultimate joy and happiness.
Somewhay my soul was caught in a bubble and was lifted in the movement.

I still regret I stopped ballet when I met the father of the children.
I should never have married, even though I don't regret receiving my children.

I'm so grateful my niece enabled me to teach once in a while and make choreographies for her balletschool.

That I started again when I was over 40 was great!
It not only set in motion the whole balletmovement for grown ups in my country, it also gave me the necessary break from being a mom.

I still hope my knee will heal well enough to enable me to do some ballet, or that someone will find me to teach or make a choreography.

Untill then I'll smile when I see those lovely dancers around me and especially those I taught up to ballet academy.


01 August 2007

A - Encyclopedia of Me

At Bella Dia I came across a great idea: An Encyclopedia of Me.

So here I go:

A is for Art

Art really makes my life beautiful.
The art I like, that is.

I can dream away when I see a beautiful painting, or feel myself tuning in to a beautiful melody. Some poetry can make my heart sing, and some songs can make it cry or smile.

A is Amber

Some people like it/me, some people don't.
Some people just look at the surface, and others are drawn towards th feeling they want to see what's in it/me.


10 Countries You'd Like to Visit

  1. Scotland. Because I have some drops of Scottish blood, and, wow!, are they powerful!

  2. Mali. I don't know why. There is a strong bond... but why? I like the music... love it!

  3. England. To visit friends and the places I love. I need to be in the lake district again.

  4. Malaysia/Borneo. To meet my friend Cindy.

  5. USA, to travel crisscross around to visit all my friends. Which is ofcourse impossible. And to meet the people who accepted me as their sister.

  6. Iceland. To see the geysers.

  7. Italy. Because I want to visit the vulcano's and I like to speak italian again.

  8. Tibet... because a friend told me I should go there... and I think he's right.

  9. Nepal. For the same reason.

  10. Wales. To find out if I still feel at home there.



Main image by Comteche.




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