29 February 2008

friday's feast

february 29 2008


Who was the last person you hugged?

One of my girls.
A grown up?
No juicy stories here. The neighbouring woman when she moved out and said goodbye last week.


Share a beauty or grooming trick or tip with us.

A beauty trick? From me?

Don't use so much Kohl around/in the eyes. Some people use so much that it looks like they're in need of hospitalisation and/or TBC treatment.

When you feel bad, it shows in your face.
So try to keep those smile muscles moving.


What does the color yellow make you think of?

The sun.
Yellow isn't really my colour. It makes me look pale.

Main Course

If you were to make your living as a photographer, what subject would your pictures revolve around?

I've worked a while as a photographer for a magazine.
So I've thought about this.

The subject would be people moving through life.
Another subject: nature's miracles. (OK, who's going to send me on a mission to Mt. St. Helens so I can proof that I can do it.)


What was the longest book you ever read?

The longest book..... hmm....
I once read a trilogy and it was a very thick book.
But it didn't feel like it.

The thickest and longest book was though, I think, my psychiatry book at university.
I felt very lucky to have a photographic memory, when I was doing exams.

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I got a comment last day.
Because the site to which it referred displayed an emailaddress that doesn't excist, I reply here.


You've made a comment on my blog which was rather belearning and in
fact also wrong.

ADD is not the old fashioned terminology for ADHD. Certainly not here
in Europe.

It is used for the ADHD group where hyperactivity isn't present, as
called in DSM IV: ADHD inattentive type.

We try to use ADHD inattentive type as little as possible, because it
suggests the person doesn't pay attention, and that is certainly not
the case.

Research and practice shows ADD comes with different symptoms and we
hope the DSM V will pay more attenion to the distinction, as
professionals already do.

When you comment like this you suggest you're a professional.
You'd certainly know in that case that between now and 1994 the
development in the area has lead to revisions of the DSM IV, and also to
lots of research and reasearch outcomes.

My sons are certainly not misdiagnosed.
(How dare you say so!!! Especially when you're not making clear
whether you are allowed to make such a statement. It's professionally

ADD is a rather difficult diagnosis to make, because there are
overlaps with many other diagnoses, which need to be ruled out.

I don't really feel the need to present the professional
qualifications from the Professor of psychiatry, and some psychologists who have
made the diagnoses as a team.
ADD and ADHD are not sudden diagnoses, they are the result of many
years of dealing with behavioral, intrapsychological and social

I'm a well educated psychologist myself, and I gather you're not a
professional in the field, because we have rules of conduct and
professional ethics we hold very high.

As far as I can see, your site is a marketing site.

Am I right?

I hope you'll refrain from comments like these on blogs in the
They're an additional burden to people who have to struggle their way
through life.




26 February 2008

hurdy gurdy

I've been asked what a hurdy gurdy is.

It's a stringinstrument.
Here you can see one in use:


25 February 2008

manic monday

How did you celebrate your last birthday?

Quite boring actually.
The girls gave me a present in the morning, and a friend visited in the afternoon.
That was it.

What's the last thing you bought yourself, just for fun?

A little booklet of Marjolein Bastin in the sales. You can find it here.
It's perfect for writing down birthdays.

I love her drawings and I would love to have something more from here. like the bedcover.
Can't have it all, can we?

What would the child you once were think of the adult you have become?

I think she would be amazed by the way I stand up for my children and wsh someone would stand up for her too.
It's strange to say, but she would want to have me as a mom.

I was a very shy child, not very appreciated by my mother.
When I was 4 she had me go out to buy the groceries.
I still can't understand why so young.
I had to clean a lot in the house too. I still hate doing it.
And she used to hit me a lot, and belittle me day by day.

I have learned myself not to let the past influence me in a negative way.
The times with my grandmother were far more important for the person I have become.
I also decided when I was young that I wouldn't fit in the theories of some socalled scientists that children of abusive mothers will become abusive too, or will become bad mothers.
I promised myself not to become a victim of the past.

Looking back I see I have missed one important aspect of it all.
I married the first guy that was nice to me. I mistook attention for real love, and I mistook being in love for real love.
It took so long to realise that!

So I guess I'm one of the least hugged people in the world, when it comes to parents and partner.
But I'm glad I have some nice children.
Especially with the girls I have a very good relationship, and I've been able to teach them what my mother didn't tell me.

So my little me can feel at rest. I struggled myself out of the past in a rather good way.


21 February 2008

6.2 earthquake in Norway

The Svalbard Region, Norway had been hit by an earthquake of 6.2 on the scale of Richter.

It's the strongest earthquake in Norway in modern history.

The epicentre was located about 140 km south east of Longyearbyen, 10 km deep in the sea.
Yet it was strongly felt at Longyearbyen (Spitsbergen).

Luckily the area is sparsely populated.


18 February 2008

manic monday

What do you order when you eat Chinese food?

It's never something expensive, as we have 7 or 8 mouths to feed, at least.
We'll get get-away. And most of the time it's nassi, bami, eggrol, springroll, sometimes Fried Chicken in Ginger Sauce.

How much have you controlled the course your life has taken?

I don't think I'm in control. Life is.

I controlled the amount of children... well, Not completely. When I wished for one, as a last, I got two. LOL!
But I didn't control how the children would be.

Whose opinion do you value when deciding how to vote?

My own.
We have a simple system.
A multiparty system.
Each party writes a partyplan, inclcuding desicions they want to make on areas like education, healthcare, economics, etc etc.

So it's a matter of deciding what's important to me, where I find the most I want, and where I find the most powers to realise the plans.

So I vote for that party, and only when there's a favorite in that party I vote for that person.

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17 February 2008

unconscious mutterings

  1. Passport :: passing the border

  2. Small world :: people know each other

  3. Radio :: music

  4. Marine :: water

  5. Wall :: Pink Floyd

  6. Wanna be :: astronaut

  7. Pigtails :: the girls

  8. Hyphen :: I use it abundantly

  9. 9.99 :: Yea, do they really think we don't realise it should be 10?

  10. Unrated :: unrated movie

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15 February 2008

friday's feast


Name one thing that is unique about you.

Well... hmmm.... I bet those one things are shared around the world with others.
I'm unique because of my children.
The way I deal with people who should try better for them is rather unique.
I'm kind, but very straightforward, and I always put the kid first.


Fill in the blank: My favorite _________ is __________ but I like _________ too.

My favorite instrument is the bagpipes, but I like other instruments too.


What type of wood do you have for your home’s furnishings?

Light wood

Main Course

Who do you talk to most often on the phone?

I have a cellphone and I use it only to be reached and to call when I need to make an appointment.

So the time of long talks is over. I don't have the time during the day and evening.


What level of responsibility do you have in your job?

As a mom of 4 handicapped kids, I don't have a job, but all the responsibility in the world.

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11 February 2008

manic monday

What is the most romantic movie that you've ever seen?

Well, those who know me, know the answer: Out of Africa.
The relationshop between her and Denys, makes me remember...

If you could be the lover of any person alive other than your current lover, who would you pick?

Well, maybe the friend from university I tried to contact.
This time I certainly would choose someone who makes me feel loved, instead of being in love.

What scents remind you of a loved one?

Tabac aftershave of my dad, but I guess you don't mean that.

But I had a friend who smoked kretek sigarettes. So that's the scent which is most meaningful to me.

Kretek cigarettes were the results of the lungproblems of Haji Jamahri who lived in Kudus central Java.
he used cloves to relieved his chestpains by using clove oil, but he wanted more relief and put dried cloves in a cigarette. It helped so much that the rokok cengkeh – clove cigarettes soon were smoked by many more.

Because the kretek cigarettes contain more tar and nicotine than other cigarettes they have been subject of investigation.
It's interesting that the health effects are no worse than other cigarettes.

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10 February 2008

unconscious mutterings

  1. Score :: result

  2. Luxurious :: hotel

  3. Party :: surprise! surprise!

  4. Limited edition :: disappeared by the time I have the money.

  5. Security :: Safety

  6. Betty :: Black Betty (Ram Yam)

  7. Under construction :: come back later

  8. Pest :: disease

  9. director :: orchestra

  10. Express :: The Orient Express

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09 February 2008

saturday special

~Just Name One~

  1. Thing You're Afraid To Do?:
    Being in a box with scorpions, snakes, and tarantulas
  2. Thing Scientists Need To Invent?:
    How to generate energy from the movement of people. (I have a great idea)
  3. Thing That Would Make You Very Happy?:
    A thing... not a person?
    I would be very happy to meet my online friends. For instance in the Oprah Winfrey Show.
  4. Thing About Valentine's Day That's Special To You?:
    That the girls receive special valentine gifts. That's so nice to see.

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06 February 2008

works for me

Today works for me is about favorite shopping sites.

I don't shop much online, but I have to for my instruments.

At the moment I'm trying to earn money for smallpipes.
I can't blow the highland bagpipes all the year because of my asthma, but I need to practice and hopefully in the near future: perform.

I'm longing for the AD combo smallpipes with bellows from John Walsh.
I'm not sure I'll ever be able to buy them, but who doesn't dream doesn't play.

Other shops that display items I love:
ElfSong Whistles
crosstitch patterns at cosmic handmade
Peter Stone

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05 February 2008

10 on tuesday

10 Things You Can Do Instead of Watching TV

Well, I don't watch much TV, so this isn't a difficult one.
  1. spend time with my children when they're at home
  2. write an article to earn a bit of money
  3. mail some friends
  4. deal with problems from one of the schools
  5. blog
  6. practice bagpipes
  7. clean the house
  8. go for a diabetes check-up (they act like a diabetes check up itself is a cure..it's not!)
  9. watch a dvd
  10. work in the garden

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04 February 2008

manic monday,

Is there anything too serious to joke about? If so, what falls into that category for you?

I for myself don't like jokes about people who can't defend themselves.
Especially not when they're handicapped.
I think many people are a joke themselves when they think they need to ridicule others.

We do joke here at home, however, a lot about all our own handicappes.
With 5 people on the autism spectrum too many things happen to stay serious.
But these are jokes that keept within the walls of the home.

Would you rather be a tortured genius or a happy simple-minded person? Why?

Well, life is so difficult that I tend to want to be happy.
But happiness.... it's just moments for most of us, humans.
So do these moments outweight being simple-minded?
When simple-minded means stupid.... I'll just stay a genius.

A dear friend or family member has a terminal illness and is in agony. He/she wants you to help him/her die. What would you do?

First let me say that euthanasia is a word that is used for far more situations in the american language that it's used in The Netherlands.
I'm a bit sick of people accusing us, Dutch, of killing people when they can't defend themselves.
We don't.

The free dictionary of Farlex defines euthanasia as: The act or practice of ending the life of an individual suffering from a terminal illness or an incurable condition, as by lethal injection or the suspension of extraordinary medical treatment.

Well, that's not what we mean by Euthanasia.

Nor is the term mercykilling reflecting what we mean by euthanasia.

Euthanasia is in all cases done by a doctor, and is subject to a lot of legal rules.

The law states that the doctor
  • is convinced the patiënt has made his decision after considerable and careful weighing of options
  • that he's asking out of his own free choice
  • that the patiënt is suffering without any prognosis he'll feel better and he can't bear the suffering any longer
  • has completely informed the patiënt about his illness, his prognosis and other aspects of the situation
  • there is no other option in the eyes of both patiënt and doctor.
  • at least one other independent doctor is consulted and this doctor has carefully checked the conditions mentioned before. He has to submit a written report.
  • the assistance in the dying process or suicide has been medically correct.

The law also states that
when a patiënt of 16 years or older is no longer able to voice his wishes, but has submitted a written request, under the conditions written before, a doctor can act according to the conditions given before.

The law also states that when a patiënt isn't of age, and between 16 and 18 years old, who fits the criteria above, the doctor can honor his request after the parents and/or caretakers are involved in the decision.

The law also states that when a patiënt isn't of age, and between 12 and 16 years old, who fits the criteria above the doctor can honor his request after the parents and/or caretakers can agree with the decision.

After the patiënt has died the doctor should fill in a report and inform the coronor.

All cases should be reported by a special board, so the case can be reviewed in detail.
When the board needs additional information they can request this to be given.
They can also request to be informed about the case by others.

The board is responsible to The Law.

The board is also subject to investigation by The Law, the inspection of health, and a national board of inspection. (I can't translate all those functions in detail, but you'll get the idea.)

Each year the board has to submit a written report to the government about:

  1. the amount of cases
  2. what kind
  3. the conclusions and how they reached the conclusions.

The boards are very critical in their reviews. They won't accept any mistake. That also means that the consulted doctor should follow every detail of the law.
Otherwise the case will be reported to the police.

That's part of the law. There is far more, like the expected amount of time left before death.
But enough here.

So you see, there is no place for a familymember or a friend to take action.

I have been in the situation of a family member and later of a friend that were suffering.
It was awful to see.
But unlike the ways people act in soap operas, there is no chance to pull the plug.

All I could do was to express my concerns to the doctors in question and ask them to give all the medical care possible.

I tried to reach out to my dad and friend on a psychological level.
I tried to divert their attention with love and care.

My friend asked me to bring him an a hypnotic state after he said goodbye to his family and friends.
It helped a bit, and he was able to engage in some conversation before he died.

When my baby was dying in hospital I was so terribly afraid the doctors would come to ask me what to do.
I was ready to make them stop causing her pain, as it was clear she would die.
Maybe I would have pulled the plug to prevent further agony.
I would even have taken imprissonment well, with the knowledge that she wasn't suffering anymore.
But I would never ever had another child.
I can deal with nature letting children die, (2 of my babies died), but I would have never ever been at peace with myself.

Because I'm "high risk" I've spoken about this subject a long long time ago with family, friends and my family doctor. I've also a written form in my files.
I don't want any lifesupport when that means I can't communicate, can't discuss matters with others. And I don't want to be put to sleep and die from dehydration and/or malnourishment.
I hope I'll be able to deal with my suffering that there's no need other people are involved than my own doctor and the legal consultant.

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3 featured posts

most recent on top

  •

    sunday seven

    Sunday Seven

    Name seven things on your mind today.
    1. Did Johan van der Sloot commit a crime?
    2. Why on earth are people accepting everything Peter de Vries is doing?
    3. Which paperwork needs to be done to get the file for the auti-class finished?
    4. How do I survive this week of vacation of the kids?
    5. I need to win the name-giving contest of the lake I walk past every evening
    6. Wish I had more time for my music
    7. How do I get all my appointments arranged this month?

    Want to take part too?
    Go to Patrick's place.


    03 February 2008

    the world: islands for the rich

    The World.

    It's a project in Dubau where little islands for the image of the world.
    The Dutch firm: van Oord has created all these islands in the sea.

    Wish I could go there to have a look.


    unconscious mutterings

    1. What women want :: love

    2. Epidemic :: egoism

    3. Taxes :: growth

    4. Hello :: bye bye

    5. Confidential :: don't tell anyone

    6. Lights :: bulbs

    7. Summation :: stand still

    8. Hard feelings :: grow over it

    9. Electric :: sissling

    10. Fresh start :: each day

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    inspiration, motivation

    I came across this.


    01 February 2008

    friday's feast

    What is your favorite kind of cereal?

    In fact I don't have a favorite kind, because the one that is shouldn't be used by me. I'm a diabetic.
    I love caramelised popped rice. Or isn't that cereal?

    When was the last time you purchased something for your home, what was it, and in which room did it go?

    The last time?
    Can't remember.

    I think it was the rocking chair.
    I wanted it for ages, but with 6 kids there's never mommymoney.
    Then I was looking at a site and someone offered that rockingchair.
    Turned out it was not too far from here, so the kids went and got it.

    It's in the livingroom.

    What is the funniest commercial you’ve ever seen?

    I always skip commercials to do little chores. So I don't know.

    Main Course
    Make up a name for a company by using a spice and an animal (example: Cinnamon Monkey).

    In the jasmine giraffe

    Fill in the blank: I haven’t ______ since ______.

    I haven't been to the carnival since ages.

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    Main image by Comteche.




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